Dark, silent, empty… No light, nor life in this bare room. Is this also what has become of my heart?.
Dark, silent, empty… No light, nor life in this bare room. Is this also what has become of my heart?
Sitting down on my usual chair in the meeting room, I placed my small hand bag in front of me. I looked around, making sure there is not one speck of light. I didn’t bother to turn the lights on as I entered. I like it like this; dark. Since I came home yesterday, I feel comfortable in this kind of gloomy atmosphere, but there is something missing.
I slid both my hands in my jackets pockets for them to feel warmth. Even though I felt safe in this dark place, I’m just not used to getting cold. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I took it out and sighed as I saw who sent an email. I didn’t open it or even bother thinking of what the message was all about. I placed it on top of my bag and went back to the position I was comfortable with earlier. With nothing to do, I decided to rest my eyes but in just a few minutes, I drifted off to sleep.
“Didn’t Risako tell you? She’s already engaged!”
“What? With whom?”
I opened my eyes and as I did, a voice greeted me. “Oh! You’re awake.” I rubbed my eyes as I try and help them get used to the light. “Miya, are you okay?” I heard the voice once again but this time, I also felt a warm feeling on my shoulder. I looked at my right and saw this tall figure. I couldn’t see the person’s face but as my vision started to clear, the girl beside me was Saki.
“Miya? Are you awake already?” I heard her ask with worry written all over her face. I didn’t want to smile but I needed to. I just need to assure her my answer is the truth. “Yes, I’m fine.” She smiled and took her hand away my shoulder. She pulled a chair beside me and I watched her sit down. I didn’t realize Saki has this wonderful body. Then again, maybe I did. I just didn’t pay attention much before since I was all over Risako, but now that’s changed.
I fixed my seat and put my bag down on the vacant seat beside me. I don’t want to let Saki know of what transpired yesterday but I’m afraid I might tell her when she asks. I kept quiet and just opened my phone to see if there were new messages but it turned out, the message I got earlier was the only unopened. I stared at it, thinking if I should open it or not but before I could make my move, the girl beside me spoke again, “So Miya, what are you doing here so early?”
I looked at her. I didn’t know what to answer. Not because I want to hide something but there is no answer. I mean, I don’t know. Why did I come here so early when I always come last? I was lost in my thoughts again, but the girl called my attention and I snapped from it. She asked me again and this time, I still didn’t get to answer. I didn’t realize I was already getting sucked by her wonderful drowsy-eyes. After a few seconds, I finally snapped from the trance I was in and looked away.
“I came early because…” I stopped. I don’t really know what to answer. “It’s okay, Miya. You don’t need to answer. There might not be a reason for you coming here early..earlier than me. I was just surprised.” I heard her say but it didn’t make me stop on thinking of a reason.
She was about to stand up but I knew I needed her. I need her comforting and caring personality. “I’m not okay…” I quickly said, wanting her to stop and ask why. She looked at me confused and worried. “Why? What happened?” I heard her ask and it was the key to help me get this out.
“Risako is engaged.” Her eyes went wide as I heard her whisper, “What?”
With that, I knew I need to tell her what happened yesterday.
Yesterday, as soon as Saki lets go of my hand, I whispered, “Thank you”, before turning around and leaving. As I was near Risako and this guy she was kissing, every step was heavy. Each step also crushed my heart. I knew this would happen if her Grandmother would set her up with boys. I knew but I didn’t stop her. When I was a meter away from them, Risako pulled away and was smiling at him. I couldn’t believe she was really enjoying this. I didn’t know what to do but as soon as I heard the guy say, “I love you”, a warm feeling suddenly shot inside me and the next thing I knew, I pulled the guy toward me and punched him hard on the face. I heard a yelp behind me.
I looked at the girl standing behind me and I could see she was surprised with my sudden attack. “What’s this Risako? Why were you kissing this guy your grandma set up with you? You said you wouldn’t do such thing!” It became hard to breathe with all this mixed up feelings inside me. I waited for an answer but she didn’t say anything.
“What do you think you’re doing?!” The guy stood up and walked to Risako. “Who are you to ask such thing?” I felt my veins burst with each word that came from him.
“Never mind. I’ll just leave.” I can’t stand it. If I stay here and not hear any explanation from her. I’ll end up fighting with this guy with no idea what is happening.
I turned around and started to take my leave until the guy yelled. “You can’t do anything! You’re not Risako’s girlfriend anymore!” I was rooted on where I stood. What does he mean? I am Risako’s girlfriend. I looked back at him and saw his taunting face. He seems to be enjoying this. “What do you mean?” I asked just to know the truth.
I could see that Risako was trying to stop him from saying anything but he held both her hands and looked once again at me. “We’re engaged.”
I felt my world crash as soon as I understood what he said. I finally understood, at least I thought I did. I nodded slightly before looking down at the ground. My eyes were starting to water but I need it to stop. I can’t cry here. “Is that so?” I started, taking my handkerchief out of my pocket and acting as if to wipe my sweat but it were my tears. “I’m happy for the two of you. Congratulations.” I smiled at them before finally taking my leave.
I felt my warm tears fall to my cheeks. I didn’t realize I was already crying. I immediately wiped my face and my tears. I kept telling myself that I’m strong and should stop crying. I was about to burst into more tears as I remembered Risako and what dawned on me yesterday. I tried to really stop crying but I couldn’t.
“Its okay, Miya. Cry all you want. Once you let it out, everything will start to get better.” A comforting voice suddenly echoed inside my head. A very soothing and caring voice. I cried more as I felt the older girl’s arms around me and face resting on her warm and soft chest.
I cried so much that my eyes and my head were already hurting. I pulled away from the comforting and caring girl and looked at her. Her eyes showing how much she understood and how much she was also hurt with what happened. But there was still hope showing in her eyes. I knew right there that Saki might help me find an answer to my question. Without any hesitation, I asked her.
“Saki.. what should I do?”